


Truth

by liuyuer



Category: X NINE, X玖少年团, 燃烧吧少年
Genre: AU, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 04:58:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10892184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liuyuer/pseuds/liuyuer
Summary: High school is pretty much over for me and this fic that I barely edited (sorry deal with crappy grammar lol) is the result of me being extremely bored. Enjoy the #angst# #焦虑# #baishugotsnakedagain#





	Truth

**Author's Note:**

> High school is pretty much over for me and this fic that I barely edited (sorry deal with crappy grammar lol) is the result of me being extremely bored. Enjoy the #angst# #焦虑# #baishugotsnakedagain#

Bai Shu looked up at the ebony sky that reflected onto his eyes. Not a single speck from the stars. Not a single shimmer of light to illuminate the darkness. Like the night, he felt empty. Hopeless. There was nothing left to think about.

He exhaled deeply and walked away from the balcony back into his home. No, he could no longer call it home. There was nobody left to think about.

Crawling into his bed sheets, he felt a warm presence lingering by his side. He smiled, clenched tightly onto his pillow, and closed his eyes. There was somebody left.

He just needed hope.

-

When Bai Shu woke up, he wasn’t alone.  
“You’re back.” His eyes fluttered open to the sight of a familiar face.  
“I’m back.” The sweet smile on the man’s face was too distinct to forget.

“I thought you--” Bai Shu choked on his tears, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You stayed. Xiao Zhan.”  
Xiao Zhan leaned closely to Bai Shu and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “A mission of a lifetime isn’t as important as you are.”

“You dropped the mission for me.” Bai Shu blinked at him, not knowing what else to say. “You’ve worked so hard all these years, and yet you--”

Xiao Zhan hushed him. “Don’t worry. I gave the instructions to somebody else. They’ll carry it out for me. I’m only here for you.”

Bai Shu couldn’t understand him--the hardships that Xiao Zhan spent during his younger years couldn’t have just been given up like this. There had to be a reason why such an important part of his life was thrown away; but maybe Bai Shu himself was the reason.

After so many years of feeling lost and lonely, this very moment just felt like a dream; Bai Shu could finally spend more than an hour a day with Xiao Zhan.

“So are we going to watch the rocket officially launch tonight?” Bai Shu could not let his guilt overwhelm him. What was most important was that he could finally stand by Xiao Zhan’s side.  
“Yes.” Xiao Zhan replied simply. “I want you to see what I’ve been working on all these years.”

...

Xiao Zhan held Bai Shu’s cold hands tightly. “I’m sorry. That I was never there. I really wanted to see you more often, but...”  
Bai Shu replied by pulling the taller man closer to him, until the two finally felt the warmth of love that had been missing all these years.

-

The two spent the day together and enjoyed themselves as much as they could before nightfall came around. It was the most beautiful day in years.

After many years, Bai Shu was happy at last.  
But he also felt scared. Scared that Xiao Zhan would leave him and never come back. That this couldn’t have been real. 

_This is impossible._  
_He couldn’t have just given up on his work like that._  
_Xiao Zhan would never give up on his father._

_This isn’t real._

He shook his head. Guilt was consuming him once again. He had to trust Xiao Zhan.

But once darkness came around, he realized he couldn’t.

In the evening, while Xiao Zhan was in the shower, Bai Shu turned on the TV. No news about the launching. He frantically searched through newspapers, read every internet article, skimmed through every sheet of paper in Xiao Zhan’s suitcase. Nothing.

He was starting to doubt if Xiao Zhan even worked on the mission. _Would he lie to me?_

_He wouldn’t._

_He would only lie to me if he wanted to protect me from knowing something._

-

Xiao Zhan rejected training to be a part of the private “Revival” spacecraft program that his father initiated decades ago, until his unfortunate passing due to cancer. As his only child and son, young Zhan felt pressured to continue what his father had started, but struggled to do so.

After seeing the tears on his mother’s face and the grievances that destroyed his life, he knew he wouldn’t want anyone to lose somebody they loved ever again. 

He had to do something about it.

When he first fell in love with Bai Shu, he knew everything would change. 

He told him that he was a child prodigy, the son of a great space engineer, and that he was working hard to follow his father’s steps and eventually launch “Revival” into space.

He didn’t tell him that he was diagnosed with the same cancer that killed his father. That it would be harmless for a few years and then strike at any given time after.

He also didn’t tell him that he spent countless nights of his adolescence with scraps of metal, silicone, and wires in his hands, with top-notch computer technology that most human beings could never understand. 

He told Bai Shu that he would never leave him, regardless of what the future may hold.

Bai Shu understood. He knew that Xiao Zhan was always busy and could never make time for him. He had to spend most of his life wallowing in silence, but he knew that one day he could watch the rocket take off to the sky the very night it was announced for launching.

It never did.

-

Bai Shu looked up at the ebony sky that reflected onto his eyes. Not a single speck from the stars. Not a single shimmer of light to illuminate the darkness. Like the night, he felt empty. Hopeless. There was nothing left to think about.

He exhaled deeply and walked away from the balcony back into his home. No, he could no longer call it home. There was nobody left to think about.

Crawling into his bed sheets, he felt a warm presence lingering by his side. He tried to smile, clenched tightly onto his pillow, and closed his eyes. There was somebody here.

Xiao Zhan knew that the endless stream of tears falling down Bai Shu’s face when he found out the truth would never cause the other him to malfunction. He developed himself to withstand all physical symptoms of human emotion.

Bai Shu did figure it out. 

It was not the real Xiao Zhan. He’d never see the real Xiao Zhan again.


End file.
